Chick Humor (Sorry guys…LOL)

12 Sep 2005 1 Comment

by Dawningsun Photography in Pointless Posts

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

 

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,

 

"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

 

"It depends," I replied.

 

"What does it say on your shirt?"

 

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

 

And they say blondes are dumb…

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A couple is lying in bed.

 

The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

 

The woman says, "I’ll miss you."

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"It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,"

 

Jack says as he stepped out of the shower,

 

"honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

 

"Probably that I married you for money," she replied.

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He said, "Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly."

 

She said, "Well, you succeeded."

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He said, "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"

 

She said, "That’s a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."

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He said, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?"

 

She said, "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

 

A: A rumour

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A woman’s perfect breakfast:

 

* She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

* Her son is on the cover of the Weaties box.

* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

* And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

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A Woman’s Prayer

 

Dear Lord,

I pray for wisdome to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And paitience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for strength,

I’ll beat him to death.

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