"It depends," I replied.
"What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb…
A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman says, "I’ll miss you."
"It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,"
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower,
"honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for money," she replied.
He said, "Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly."
She said, "Well, you succeeded."
He said, "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said, "That’s a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
He said, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?"
She said, "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
A woman’s perfect breakfast:
* She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
* Her son is on the cover of the Weaties box.
* Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
* Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
* And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
A Woman’s Prayer
I pray for wisdome to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And paitience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for strength,
I’ll beat him to death.